Why are men attracted to transgender women?

Posted on March 8, 2019
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Because the latter like to emphasize their femininity, whereas many ciswomen no longer do so?  Because men feel threatened by social changes or, on the contrary, they embrace the challenge of the traditional sex dichotomy?  Or maybe because they simply “like women with dicks. I like tits and I like dicks…  Something erotic about getting fucked by someone who is a woman.” (Men Who Have Sex with Transgender Women: Challenges to Category-based HIV Prevention

Emancipation and globalization (along with various social, economic, political and other aspects of life) have come to a point in which sex and gender differences are being blurred.  A lot of things is becoming very much the same.  Clothes, for example.  There are many unisex clothes to choose from. Nowadays many women wear pants.  For many reasons.  And I haven’t noticed it until I went to Paris.  To that day I’ve very rarely seen women wearing skirts.  Not dresses, but regular skirts.  It’s pants all over, pretty much everywhere.  I’m not saying that skirts determine womanhood; it’s just an example of a wider topic.

The stereotypical French woman is known for her femininity.  She is a strong-minded person who knows what she wants and doesn’t hesitate to get it.  What’s even more important, she draws her strength from being a woman.  It’s not regarded as a weakness (as it still is, unfortunately, in many countries).  Then a theory hit me.  A theory, which – as Anne Elk (Miss) would put it – is mine and belongs to me and I own it. But first, a digression.

Gynephilia is a word taken from a division of sexual interests, which roughly means an attraction to femininity in general, regardless of the feminine person’s sex/gender.  Which would explain why some men are interested in both ciswomen and transwomen. In the dualistic division of gender roles, they simply prefer females and all they stereotypically represent: inner rather than physical strength, wisdom, gentleness, sensitivity, empathy, beauty and submission (which may seem contradictory, but they’re not).

Back to the theory then.

Many transwomen very much like to accentuate their femininity (in a traditionally regarded way).  And in my opinion, that’s why men find themselves attracted to transwomen.  It’s not at all about underwear contents, as they usually don’t find other men attractive and don’t consider themselves gay.   It’s because many ciswomen have abandoned or lost their stereotypical femininity.  Because men have been put off by extreme feminism.  By uniformity.

Jamison Green writes that “Plenty of penis-less transmen […] engage in sex with penis-equipped gay men […] and these non-trans partners are often surprised to find that a penis is not what defines a man, that the lack of a penis does not mean a lack of masculinity, manliness, or male sexuality.” (Becoming a Visible Man)  So I suppose it works the other way around as well.

I guess it means that nothing’s simple and it’s not all exclusively about the body. There may be something deeper down there.  Something yet to be discovered.

I don’t claim to be the sage of our times.  And I know it’s much exaggerated, simplified and full of generalities. But I also think that it’s not entirely illogical and nonsensical.  And I like to think that there’s some added value there.  As I’ve already said, that is my theory, it is mine, and belongs to me and I own it, and what it is too.  After all, all brontosauruses were thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle and then thin again at the far end.

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About the author

Polish translator and editor, hopeless romantic and daydreamer. She likes to gaze at old maps and then write some otherwordly stories.