There are thousands of things if I’m being honest but I’m going to narrow them down to 8 things a person needs to remember when it comes to dating transgender women.
Even though I’m a trans woman, please still take these tips with a grain of salt because every one of us is different. This will be a good manual though since I can proudly say that I’m less neurotic than others lol.
No tea, no shade.
1. Be Genuine
Nobody likes a fake person and lies will inevitably be unraveled. Be honest! If you’re not able to share your real self with a transgender woman, how sure is she that it’ll be alright for her to be her full self as well? If you want a strong foundation for a future relationship, don’t build it up with blocks upon blocks of lies.
2. Treat her like a LADY
Never bring up her past or ask her about her transition if it’s too early in the relationship. It’ll make you look like a journalist or someone who’s just in the relationship because you’re experimenting with her. Focus on her present; her being a lady. Treat her as how you did with your cisgender ex.
3. Don’t ask her sexual role too early in the game
Please never ever ask your transsexual date about her sexual role if you don’t want her thinking that you’re just fetishizing her identity. Not unless you’re her John and she’s a sex worker (obviously). Be creative, think of other topics to talk about.
4. Don’t treat transgenderism with novelty
“She’s transgender too”… don’t you just hate that line as I do?
I mean, obviously, I’m not the only trans woman in this planet but bringing up random people and celebrities who are also trans women all the time and making it seem like a “thing” is just plain annoying. Transgender women identify as women and not just transgender women. It’s not the only thing going on for us.
5. Never call her by her birth name as a joke or to insult her
… or by any means! Seriously, some trans women have stronger gender dysphoria than others and hearing their birth names can cut deep. I honestly don’t mind because I loved who I was and who I am now but be more sensitive because you’ll never know what a person has gone through. Have the courtesy to call her by what she wants to be called.
6. She’s not Jezebel
Not every transgender woman is adventurous when it comes to sex. Slow down on introducing your kinks if you don’t want to risk your amazing relationship with her. You didn’t ask her to be your girlfriend in order to fulfill your sexual fantasies. Buy a sexbot from Japan if you don’t like to deal with people’s feelings. They make very realistic ones nowadays.
7. Don’t force her to get surgeries or take hormones…
Some guys like huge melons. Don’t impose your preferences on her most especially if she’s fine with the way she is. How would you feel if she asked you to get a penis enlargement surgery or an erectile dysfunction surgery?
If I were your girlfriend, I’d ask you to get 3 balls just because I’m so into it to the point that your measly pair disgusts me.
8. Fight with her
Being in a relationship with a transgender woman is still considered tabooed by the majority of the world. Expect that there will be a lot of hurdles when dating a transgender woman. Prepare for battle; the battle of love.