One of the biggest things that worry most tgirls at the beginning of their transition is their visuals, but it’s not a problem, just a lack of information. Sometimes what you’re trying to avoid, comes to the fore. What happens is that at this stage, the body still has many masculine characteristics which are something very common, but what I intend to talk about in this post is, precisely the tips on how to “cover” these parts without losing your subtlety and beauty. I am going to show here options very practical, and valuables advice to you feel more feminine and especially, better with yourself.
When John loved Jane is a short story by Filipino transgender writer Gabrielle Dela Cruz. Thank you Gabrielle for letting us post your story on our blog!
When John loved Jane
John, a college student recalls the very first time he fell in love. He takes everyone in a journey through how his life was geared towards making a girl named Jane truly happy for the first time in her life.
Jane, an atypical damsel in distress who is quite eccentric nonchalantly reveals herself to John. Beneath Jane’s seemingly perfect life colored with beautiful artworks and promises is an underlying sadness that John was in a battle to lift away from her.
John might just have all the answers through Jane’s unsaid prayers through this intimate narrative of first love.
Since time immemorial, transgender people have always been dealing with issues – how we have been unfairly treated, how we have been wrongly perceived and how we have been hastily judged by many. This seemingly started to decrease the past years and today, signs are showing that we are entering a more accepting era for transsexual people to advance in life and live life with less or, even better, without any problems. This idea of removing these issues for transgender people is a challenge but I believe it’s achievable (hope I’m not daydreaming). The question is, how are we going to successfully make this happen?
I firmly believe that if people would open their minds and become aware of these facts, it would make cohabitating together for transgender people and cis-gender people in this world more sound and peaceful. This could happen if all of us would do these 2 things; Knowing the accurate information and, unlearning the things this conservative, egocentric and discriminating society we are all part of taught us about being transgender.
Let me go thru some things with you on what some people generally think about the transgender community. (and what I personally think about it)
No matter how feminine and passable your transsexual girlfriend may be, eventually some clown is going to make a rude comment about her after he’s had a few too many drinks or was simply an uncouth boor. Even though most of my ts relationships were with women who no one passing on the street would guess that she was born a male, we would occasionally encounter a yahoo who thought he or she – yes, sometimes genetic girls mouth off, too – was being clever or funny by making a wisecrack.
The question for us men who are – or want to be – involved with a transsexual woman is simply this: What’s the best way to handle it?
On the one hand, my attitude has always been that when someone insults the woman in my life it is the same as insulting me. But at the same time, defending her doesn’t mean taking a swing at the guy. Still, most of us want to protect our girlfriend without ending up in a brawl where people could get hurt – and arrested.
The multi-part blog that transgender women posted about dating transsexual women was terrific, and spot on.
Let me offer a few more tips as someone who has dated transsexual women almost exclusively for the past ten-plus years. This included living with a transsexual woman for five years, and dating another for three in a committed relationship although we did not live together. When I wasn’t involved with someone, I was dating mostly transsexual women hoping to find a relationship.
Treat a transgender woman as a woman
This is very important, remember that you are dating a woman. She may have thought of herself as female since she was very young, so treat her as such. If all you want is the experience, need to fulfil a fantasy, or think of transsexuals as “chicks with dicks,” do both you and her a favor and call an escort.
Sex Diaries, episode 3: Trans Lovers. This documentary of 45 minutes aired on Channel 4 a few days ago. You might be able to still watch it online on Channel 4’s website (although I believe this won’t work if you’re not physically in the UK… I am in the Philippines and the video didn’t load — fortunately, a good soul published a copy on Youtube).
First of all, I do appreciate that Channel 4 is featuring transgender stories. I don’t watch TV much, so I might be wrong, but it seems this channel airs a lot of transgender related programs overall. But then, I’m a bit disappointed by the sample of people they chose to follow. Have they asked us, we could have recommended a way more representative sample…
Relationships are complicated no matter who we are, and dating within the transgender community can make matters even trickier. So what is it that we are bringing to the table to help foster this personal connection, and let it grow into love? There are many aspects to consider when striving for a healthy relationship, and it is not always easy to find what we are looking for. Even when we are lucky enough to find love, a serious relationship takes constant effort from both persons. In the long run what you put into the relationship is what you will get out of it.
Everyone has different thoughts of what is essential when being with that special someone, but there are also certain traits that we can all agree on being important. Emotional, and physical attraction, or perhaps even a spiritual connection for some; these are the kinds of feelings that many search for in their partner. There is another characteristic that I would put greater value on than most of the others, and would argue that a serious relationship relies in large part to this.
Last month, we opened the Chinese version of My Transsexual Date. Today I am glad to announce the opening of our Portuguese version! European Portuguese, to be more exact. Brazilian Portuguese will surely follow soon, but if our Brazilian friends wish to use the site in Portuguese already, this should do.
Making My Transsexual Date available in portuguese was an important step for us, because the transgender population of Brazil is extremely marginalised, despite the fact that they are so many. Our mission is to help all trans women in this world get a chance at love, and this is even more true for trans women who live in countries where society makes it difficult to meet sincere men.
We are also not forgetting our friends from Portugal of course, which we are very happy to welcome in their native language!
Following this logic, let me take this opportunity to announce that we plan to make our dating site available in Japanese, Bahasa Indonesia and Bahasa Melayu (main languages in Indonesia and Malaysia) very soon. So stay tuned!
Olá Portugal e no Brasil. E bem-vindos!
In light of the heightened excitement at the FIFA World Cup in Brazil which still draws up multitudes of crowds from all parts of the globe, the LGBT community recently celebrated the recognition of the first ever professional transgender football player to grace the World Cup qualifiers in the course of its colorful history.
In a sport frontlined by men, a stunning 25 year-old, 6ft 1ins (1.83 meters) transgender center-back named Jaiyah Saelua from American Samoa was instrumental in putting her team back on track after winning a preliminary FIFA World Cup qualifier match against Tonga back in 2011. American Samoa had been suffering massive losses against Australia with a sweeping 31-0 record in 2001 and was even dubbed as the world’s worst football team. But like an answered prayer, Jaiyah rose and led her pack, giving American Samoa its hard-earned and much-needed victory against Tonga.
Born “John Saelua”, Jaiyah is referred to as a “fa’afafine” which means “way of the woman” in Polynesian tradition. This tradition allows young boys around the Pacific region to freely choose to be brought up as females.
Now here’s news that will have you all perked up better than a cup of Malaysian coffee!
Last month, a group of transsexual women in Malaysia were arrested at a wedding ceremony in a residence at Felda Lui Timur, Negeri Sembilan. The alleged crime they were arrested for? Section 66 of the Negeri Sembilan Syariah Criminal Offenses that reads any male person who, in any public place, wears a woman’s attire and poses as a woman shall be guilty of an offense and shall, on conviction, be liable to a fine not exceeding RM1000, imprisonment not exceeding six months, or both.
Ridiculous? I know! But yes, a law that is irrelevant to modern day standards does exist. And no, you’ve not been living under a rock; it’s a pity transwomen in some cultures still suffer severe consequences simply by choosing to show the whole world who they are through how they dress.
Locally called “mak nyah“, the Malaysian transwomen who were recently arrested were a group that consisted of those who graced the wedding ceremony as invited guests and as “mak andam” (wedding planners). Customarily, mak andam are a local wedding staple — involved in wedding planning, make-up, and certain tasks on the wedding day (e.g. building the pelamin or wedding platform).